Someone else had been her first and last friend. Emil therefore was not her friend. What he was… was the last thing she could cling to before he pushed her off into the wild seas. He was her last harbour. He was not safe (that had been Lorene) and he was not protecting her (that had been Alton). He just was.
Soon enough, Coleen would just be too. That was what immortality would give her. As the numbness crept back through her she realized this was how she would have to feel all the time. It no longer made her content. It made her tired.
She was tired now and it had only been a year. Coleen wasn’t even thirty and yet she had lived too long and would continue to live for longer.
Coleen felt like she was being childish – this was something she had prepared for. Yet Emil did not tell her to stop being a baby. For once he was tactful and did not force her to talk about it. Instead, she stopped by the Agon board he had set up once again and moved a red knight.
That made Coleen red. Once that decision had been made for her the numbness settled calmly and she knew she could survive a bit longer. Well, for eternity, but she would not lose any more of her sanity right now.