A Simple Life (pt15)

She had gone outside to check the damage to the roof. The tree branch stuck through the shingles above her room. That would have to be fixed before the rains came. Emil would have to call someone about it, which meant Coleen would have to be elsewhere.

Now that was the question. Where could she go during that time? It had not even been a year yet. Who knew how long it would be until her face was forgotten. The hatred when the usurped king was spoken of… at the very least that would last a long time. It was something she was proud of. People would hate her. That was what she had accomplished. She had fixed everything by making them all hate her.

If they had hated other things before, perhaps things would have been much easier.
Or not. Coleen had to be the only thing who could not be forgiven.

Yet there were three people she knew who did not hate her. Or (even for the one who must) they had forgiven her. Forgiven her in some sick, twisted way.

Emil did not hate her. Then again, Emil had never seemed to hate anyone. He was annoyed at times, but that was as close to hate as he could manage. Emil could never hate her. Something Coleen would just have to live with.

Ami did not hate her either. Coleen did not know if she had forgiven her though.

Maybe Emil was the only person who had forgiven her who did not hate her.

Alone is not the same as loneliness

“There’s seven billion people in the world,” he told her. “You are definitely not alone, as much as you might think you are.”

That made it worse. That many people and she didn’t connect with a single one of them. Did he realize how much worse that was? Was there only something wrong with her, that such words weren’t a comfort? Or was the fault with him, where he thought the quantity mattered more than anything.

She looked outside the restaurant window. “There’s about a thousand people in this town,” she replied. “Until we get away, the other seven billion don’t matter.”

And if the thousand people here didn’t make her feel alone, didn’t make him feel alone, they wouldn’t have been trying to escape.