“Hello?”

“Hey there. How was it last night?”

“Um, who is this?”

“You know who this is. Don’t mess with me. Tell me how it went!”

“I’m serious. Who is this?”

“Your brother?”

“I don’t have a brother.”

“…”

“But last night went great. I got engaged and a raise within the space of two hours and I’m moving to Spain. How was your day?”

“This is awkward.”